Monday 30 June 2014

No Words

After all the outpourings of prayer and all the rallies of solidarity and all the hashtag campaigns, the bodies of the abducted Israeli teens, Eyal, Naftali and Gil-ad were discovered a few hour ago, buried under rocks in a field in Hevron. It turns out that they had been murdered shortly after they were taken, probably when the kidnappers panicked, thinking that Israeli security forces were on to them. Which they weren't.
So after all the initial celebrations among the Palestinians with the usual handing out of sweets etc, and the heinous little hand sign of three fingers signifying '3 Shalits' who would be used as pawns in a prisoner swap, it turned out that the moronic shithead kidnappers had actually burned their trump cards and have gone into hiding  (and I wouldn't be surprised if they, too, have been murdered for their cock-up, by more bastards as evil as themselves.)
And now the cybersphere is swamped by outpourings of grief and calls for justice and retribution. Oh, nothing from our good friend Obama, who  urges 'restraint' in the response from Israel. I mean, he hasn't yet even worked out what to do about the murder of a US ambassador and 2 embassy staff in Benghazi, so how do we expect him to give a shit about 3 Israeli Jews, even if one was also a US citizen? And the UN, with their description of the 3 'settlers' who were kidnapped and murdered; not teens, not school kids, but 'settlers' whose presence and life in the first place is unacceptable, so who cares that they were killed for being Jews.
At the same time, rockets fly from Gaza and detonate in Sderot, destroying property if not life, and sending the kids on their last day of school running yet again for the bomb shelters.
And Gazan rockets blow up, killing a 3 year old Arab girl in Gaza.
And Syrian fire kills an Arab Israeli boy at the Golan border. You won't have heard of any of this if you rely on mainstream media; it's just not newsworthy. Maybe the rock throwing Arab boy who was killed while in a mob taking on the IDF in Gaza might have made it to the news, of course giving the worst possible impression of the IDF and creating false moral equivalence between the deaths of Arab children raised with incitement against Jews their whole lives, and Israeli children trusting enough to hitchhike in their own country.
The icing on the cake is the threat from Hamas spokesman Sami Abu-Zuri, who threatens that if Israel retaliates (to the rocket fire from Gaza),  this would 'open the gates of Hell' on Israel.
These bastards are child-murderers who celebrate death, who rain missiles on civilians while hiding behind their own civilian populations, who openly and brazenly call for the death of all Jews and the destruction of Israel.
I think the 'gates of Hell' are already open. Bring it on, scum.
Israel lives. We have survived this long, we will survive.
While you all kill each other in Syria and establish a 'caliphate', while you rape and kidnap girls and burn churches, while you murder your own children, while you worship your death cult, Israel builds, Israel contributes, Israel seeks to make the world a better place.
One little ray of hope- Mohammed Zoabi, nephew of traitorous Balad MK Haneen Zoabi, calls himself a proud Zionist Israeli Arab Muslim who respects all religions and prophets and calls for peace and support of Israel, and is consequently at risk of being abducted to Gaza and murdered by Hamas himself. I wish this brave 16 year old well, and I hope he doesn't end up like three other teenagers did.
Am Yisrael Chai.

Monday 23 June 2014

Post-wedding farewell

Well, it's over. The wedding of our last one, our mezinka, the Sheva broches, the whole New York shtick, and today we go home. 
The gown, the fancy sheitel, the heels, the Spanx, the special pearls, all to be retired for the foreseeable future THANK G-D. 
It was indeed a memorable day even though I almost wiped my memory with two - two!- margaritas drunk rather unwisely and too fast just before the chuppah. The combination of heat, dehydration, jetlag, fatigue and tequila almost did me in. I swear that's all I drank all night but 3 hours later, when it was time for me to give my speech, I could hardly stand upright. They had to search for me in the bathroom where I was drinking water and taking deep breaths and trying to clear my vision and resisting the urge to lie down on the tiled floor. I have never found a bathroom floor to be more inviting. And then  it was time for me to speak and there was no lectern or light and, being an old-fashioned girl, I had paper notes rather than a backlit iPad and I couldn't see them. So the bride had to shine a light onto the paper so I could refer to my notes- no way was I risking winging it. Well, I think I did ok in the end but I have cemented a reputation as a lush, I'm sure. Two cocktails a whole night! Unfair. 
It was a great night, people managed to have fun even though there was no dancing- yes, you read that right, no dancing- and I'm thinking that a lot of people were quite relieved not to be shuffling around on a hot squashy dance floor but it was a bit odd. It felt like a fund raising dinner at times. I had to suppress the urge to hand out pledge cards. 
Why no dancing? Cultural collide. My hard core Chabad husband is totally against mixed dancing at weddings and my son in law is freaked out by the thought of dancing with a pack of drunk sweaty men so that was that. And it was fine. 
My kids did, however, manage to cobble together a mezinka tantz, much to the bemusement of most people present, with floral crowns and an enormous garden broom because the cute little prop brooms had been left in the trunk of someone's car, but a broom is a broom I guess. Sweep out the house! All kids married! Praise the L-rd! OY, these customs, who thought them up?
There was a photo booth set up which entertained the crowd but somehow I missed out, and the photos ae hilarious. I wish I had been there! Although I was there, so that was my fault. Damn margaritas. 
I'm making it all about me here, sorry about that. Because the bride was beautiful and the couple was so happy and the families on both sides are delighted and a young Jewish couple start their lives together. Mazel tov! Mazel tov!
But I will never NEVER drink tequila again. This time I MEAN it. 

Sunday 15 June 2014

A slice of the Apple

So I'm back in NY for the wedding of my last single, my mezinka, and it's pretty crazy times! We decided to stay in Manhattan, midtown, at a hotel we like, and basically have some time with her before the wedding, and then we fly back home after Sheva Broches and that's that. 
I have to say that there were many times that I said to myself, what would be wrong if she had eloped? How hard would  it be, find a rabbi, 2 witnesses and a chuppah and ring, Bob's your uncle as we say in Australia. Save a lot of spendruliks too. But that's only a joke (no it isn't)(yes it is) because really, what a blessing, marrying off 7 kids. Who wouldn't want to be there? 
But it's been tricky planning stuff from the other side if the world. Anyway, here we are in midtown. Yesterday was Shabbos and we went to shul, Chabad of Midtown. It was a nice day, after a previous day of epic rain, and a pleasant walk down 5th Avenue. And I got to see a Hare Krishna parade, with the whole huge wagons, brightly decorated, with getchkes (idols) and garlands, and chanting and drumming, devotees of all stripes in saris and dhotis, with the air redolent of sandalwood incense. It was something to see. And then we went upstairs to the shul followed by an enormous Kiddush and lunch with the whole herring and kugel and cholent thing and 150 Jewish tourists from all over plus a few local manhattanites. 
We returned to the hotel for a shluf after which we went for a walk through Central Park where we encountered a huge concert of a Puerto Rican salsa legend whose band played music that would make a bronze statue get off its plinth and dance. All free. We met a character there who was clearly a huge fan, complete with snap brim hat and cigar, dancing with random ladies, who wished us a good Shabbos. 
As we made our way back to the hotel in the gathering dusk, we reflected on what an amazing city this us, to which I add, what a great country this is, for all its faults. 
Ok, back to wedding stuff. I'll let you know how it all goes. 
Only simchas!