Spread a little light

I just arrived in Jerusalem and heard that the Martin Place Chanukah menorah lighting has been cancelled in the aftermath of the Lindt Cafe terrorist siege in Sydney during which 17 people were taken hostage, 2 of whom were killed, by a self professed 'sheikh' with a long criminal rapsheet including accessory to murder and 40 counts of sexual assault. 

At first, I, along with many others, thought of this criminal murderer in terms of his criminality rather than his religion. He was a baddy who did this deed as a crazy 'lone wolf', and the fact that he put a Muslim declaration of faith up in the shop window , and apparently asked for an ISIS flag as part of his demands, was sort of brushed aside. 

I have since changed my mind. 

During the siege, even before the siege was over and the 2 victims were killed, we had this ridiculous #I'll ride with you campaign cooked up by some leftard - sorry, but there really are times when this pejorative term needs to be used- in Brisbane, who was riding on a bus and saw a Muslim woman fiddle with her headscarf and take it off. The observer cooked up a scenario in her mind, without actually speaking with the Muslim woman, that maybe she took it off because she was afraid of a backlash against Muslims and so she thought, no, I will protect you, Muslim sister, from the depredations of us racist Australians. I will ride with you in a bus without spitting on you. And the hashtag spread and everyone though how beautiful it all was. We hashtaggers aren't racist, like the other right wing Aussies.  We protect minorities, not like they do.  Aren't we wonderful people. 

I think everyone forgot who the real victims were. They were the hostages and the murdered cafe manager who was killed trying to disarm the terrorist; and the lawyer, who left 3 motherless children. They actually were the victims. The Muslims were not.  

So that's a couple of points I would like to make. Australians on the whole are tolerant people and are not likely to burn crosses or crescents or whatever on lawns and lynch Muslims etc. And Muslims were not the victims in the Lindt cafe seige. 

Then we saw this public outpouring of grief through floral tributes laid in Martin Place at the scene of the crime. Every florist ran out of stock. The photos looked amazing. Of course, the flowers will all rot and it will be a big job to clear the place in a few days, and what will be left? Nothing. I'll come back to that in a minute. 

Then came in all the analyses and reassurances from police and politicians and pundits. This was not an act of Muslim terror. This was a crazy criminal 'lone wolf', who did what he did because he was a baddy. (If he was so bad, why was he out on parole or on bail, free to plan and execute this attack? Hmm. That's a good question.) No, it was not because he was a Muslim. No no no. We mustn't think that (or I guess there will be a terrible backlash against the poor old Muslims). 

(And we know what happens when Muslims feel offended and insulted so hush, let's keep the peace. I'm sure there was some thought process like that going on in someone's head.)

Well, all I can say is that there seems to be a lot of these 'lone wolves' about. There was one in the Canadian parliament, and 2 who murdered Lee Rigby in the streets of Manchester, and the shrink who shot up Fort Hood and killed 14 US Army personnel - he was a lone wolf too, despite evidence in his email account where he was pledging jihad against the infidel- and there was the plot to randomly behead an infidel in Sydney which was thwarted, and the Arabs who ran down people waiting at light rail stops and bus stops in several incidents in Israel, and the 2 who murdered 4 rabbis at prayer in Har Nof in Jerusalem, leaving 14 fatherless children, and all of these lone wolves - so many that I don't know if the word 'lone' really applies- have one thing in common. Have a guess. No cigars for guessing the answer- they are all Muslims. And they have all taken it upon themselves after being incited by radical Muslim clerics and interpretations of Koranic verses, to attack infidels wherever and whenever they encounter them, Jews, Christians, in Israel and abroad. 

You can continue to pretend that these people are not motivated by religion to kill- oh well, of course in Israel it is about the resistance to the occupation, right? Wrong. It's about Muslim incitement to fight The Other, especially the Yahud. 

So keep pretending , but be prepared for more of these 'lone wolf' attacks because the incitement is not stopping any time soon. 

I can't help but compare the response  among Jews to the horrific attacks which have been perpetrated on them, to the Martin Place floral tributes, which make a strong statement but which are ultimately ephemeral. In every case, after every act of terrorism, the bereaved Jewish families urge people to give more tzedakah in the name of the victim, or to do more mitzvot, or to increase their level

of prayer and religious observance. Or they establish charitable foundations to help other families of victims of terror or other good causes. The Har Nof Shul was cleared of the blood staining the walls and the floor the very next day after this heinous attack, and more people have been attending  and studying there than ever before. 

This is also a form of resistance against the darkness that is closing in. This is all in the name of trying to make the world a better place. 

I strongly believe that it is a terrible mistake to cancel the menorah lighting in Martin Place. If there was ever a time that we need to see more light, it is now. The kindling of the lights reminds us of the miracle of the oil, and that is how we celebrate Chanukah; but Chanukah means 'dedication'. We rededicated the Temple to Hashem after the miracle of the victory of the few over the many; but we don't dwell on the military aspects of the festival which enabled the rededication and the miracle of the oil. We Jews don't really gloat about military victories. To paraphrase R Adin Steinsaltz, we don't put swords in our windows to celebrate, we put menorahs. We add more lights and more lights, for every night of Chanukah, because that is how you push away the darkness. 

Happy Chanukah to all, and may the families of the victims of terror be comforted. 

OY TO THE WORLD

I confess. This time of year, when I venture into the shop or supermarket or malls, I see all the tinsel and hear the music, and I see all the puddings, panettone, stollen, big weighty fruitcakes and I have a tiny bit of Xmas Envy.

Not that I'm looking for more things to cook! (although I do a mean Christmas cake Rich Fruit Cake in November which sits in the fridge getting doused with alcohol for our ... Chanuka party). And I laugh when I hear the Non-Jews stressing over inviting family over for Xmas lunch or whatever ('How many are you having?' '12.' 'WHAT! TWELVE PEOPLE! How on Earth will you cope!!??). Hello! Have you heard of Shabbos? I do this every week! And not just twelve! And not just one meal, often Friday night AND Shabbos lunch! Wow!

There's just something in the air, along with all the carols wafting around. There's the kitschy tchotchkes and table decor; there's The Tree, which is- let's face this- a thing of beauty. It is! I would do a superb Xmas family dinner, lunch, everything. If it was me, I would go to Carols by Candlelight. I would wear reindeer antlers and dangly tinsel earrings while preparing the massive turkey and roast veggies and aller chazerai, prawns and a big ham, and a pudding (with suet if I could get it, but butter if not, and I would steam it for hours) and brandy sauce. Or maybe a goose, instead of a turkey, because that's actually MORE traditional. I would go to Midnight Mass. (Is that Xmas or Easter? Or both? I would do it for both.) I would do everything. Put up stockings and leave a nip of whiskey for Santa and have a tree-decorating for all the family. I would have a big box of heirloom tchotchkes and baubles including a soppy angel to decorate the huge real pine tree. I would put up a whole Nativity sound and light show in LED lights on my front lawn. And seeing that I wouldn't be Jewish, I would have a husband who could rig all this up himself, (and not have to call a non-Jew to come and do it) with the help of our fine strapping sons, all wearing plaid shirts and work jeans and boots, climbing on ladders with insouciance and laughing heartily while festooning the roof with miles of LED lights. And then the menfolk will be enjoying a well-earned ale and horsing around, wrestling and falling about with laughter...wait, this fantasy has gone off track a little.

It looks like such fun! You don't have to spring-clean your house with a toothbrush, you don't have to build a little structure to eat your meals in, it doesn't go on for 8 days of fressing, just a couple of days. I would hire a roly-poly Santa with a real beard to come and give presents to all the kids at the big family lunch. If I could arrange it, he would come with a sled and reindeer. I would have a special set of table linen and crockery that I only used for this purpose, decorated with holly and ice skaters and snow and reindeers and all that Northern Hemisphere stuff.

I don't do anything by halves. As it is, you can imagine what Pesach and Rosh Hashanah and Succot look like at my place (but they go on FOREVER and at the end of a month of feasting and fasting and fressing, I feel like I'm going to explode, like Mr Creosote.)(WARNING: if you don't know who Mr Creosote is, don't hit the link. Absolutely disgusting.)

I actually feel a bit cheated that we don't have Thanksgiving in Australia, because that's the festival I really envy. Non-sectarian! Fully inclusive! 4 day long weekend! Crazy good food! And it' all about gratitude and giving thanks! (Duh.) I would carve pumpkins- no wait, that's Halloween. (No, feh, I don't like Halloween.) I would have little pilgrim salt and pepper shakers that I only used on Thanksgiving. And a big centrepiece with corn and little pumpkins and autumnal harvesty stuff featured and a tablecloth with a turkey-featuring design on it. Not only would I have my own special turkey-stuffing recipe, I would make my own cranberry sauce. My pumpkin pie would be to die for. So I also have Thanksgiving Envy, but that's OK. Jews can do Thanksgiving.

Xmas is a whole other thing. But don't worry, I won't do any of that stuff (except for the Rich Fruit Cake marinating in my fridge as I write this.) What I AM doing as a Chanukah party for all the family, where there will be latkes and ponchkes, along with a good old Aussie BBQ, and presents and Chanukah Gelt for the kids, and by kids I mean everyone. And then some ... fruitcake. And then we light the Menorah and sing songs and play dreidel.

AND THEN. My hubby and I are flying out to Israel to visit our other kids, and THAT'S where you really see what Chanukah looks like, the streets and homes ablaze with lights. There, the 25th of December is just another day.

Happy... Holidays!

Just PERFECT.

Is it just me, or have you also noticed this little language tic that's just popping up everywhere?

I first heard it some years ago when I was making large functions - bar mitzvahs, weddings, charity dinners- and employed a professional events company to put these things together. The people I dealt with were great. They had wonderful positive attitudes and were always upbeat, and my every suggestion or request was met with a positive comment, like 'Gorgeous!' or 'Fabulous!' or, with the passage of time, more and more, 'Perfect!'
OK, that's events-biz, which is like show-biz except even more over the top; Perfect! Gorgeous! Stunning! Every superlative.
But now I'm hearing it everywhere. Where once 'Great!' or 'Wonderful!' would have sufficed, or, really back in the day 'Beauty!' (pronounces 'bewdy') or 'Ace!' or 'Bonza!' or some such, now it's that prissy 'Perfect!'

'Meet you at 11 for coffee?' 'Perfect!'
'Here's those notes I promised you.' 'Perfect!'
'Your child made you this fingerpainting.' 'Perfect!'
Everything is so perfect. Not.
The world's going to hell in a handbasket, but dinner at 8? Perfect!

Such an annoying prissy little word. All pursed lips ('p') and teeth ('ff') and a neat little click ('kt') at the end. No sloppy old tongue involved. Unless you are American and you pronounce the 'r' with a neat little tongue-tip flick before the teeth and the click. And then it has a smug little 'Purr' in it.

I'm finding it slipping out of my own mouth now too. I could honestly slap myself when I say it.

Because nothing's bloody perfect! Nothing! It might be good, or great, or wonderful or amazing (or 'amazeballs'- YUCK), it might be terrific or marvellous or even fantastic, but it's NOT PERFECT.

OK, here's an exception; the 'Perfect Storm' thing where everything is as extreme as it can be and then it all converges and POW, dramatic disappearance of ship or building or something, and that's pretty horrible and not very common. Not like this ticcy-clicky-prissy little 'Perfect!' popping out of everyone's mouths.

So stop it already, let's move on, or move back to just 'great'. Let's all calm down and relax and stop striving for this impossible state of perfection in every mundane aspect of our daily lives. OK, sometimes perfection can be achieved - 10/10 in Olympic Gymnastics or something- but otherwise, please GIVE IT A REST. Or we'll all spontaneously combust in our perfection.