My son is getting married in about 10 weeks,
and it’s in the US and therefore, as an out-of-towner, I don’t have to do much. So I will preface
this kvetch with a thanksgiving blessing, that it’s all been a piece of cake
compared to marrying off a daughter. So I’m not really really complaining.
But of all the few things I have to do, one of
them is getting a dress for myself. Now, I hate fashion and clothes and
shopping and everything involving me trying on stuff and looking at myself in a
mirror. I like the idea of glamming up but the shoes kill me, for starters. I
have some outfits which I put together, and then I wear them and wear them
until they are unwearable and then I grit my teeth and shlep out and Go
Shopping.
Clearly, though, a family wedding is in a
different league. And one’s own son’s wedding especially so. The last 2
weddings of daughters, I managed to wear the same dress, a dress which had been
made for me by a Couturier, excuse me, not just a little dressmaker, and it
cost a fortune, and at least I spread the cost over 2 weddings. Unfortunately,
no such luck this time. Different time of year, different country, different
climate, too hot. What to do. Idea!! Go on-line!
First, I googled ‘Modest Evening Gowns’ just to
see. It turns out that the Mormons have kind of cornered the market here, folks. Especially
bridal wear. Very tzniusdik! You should check out their ‘Temple Dresses’, very
elegant, even the most Haredi bride could wear them. Just a thought.
But nothing for me. Actually, even the ‘modest’
evening dresses, while being modest by general standards, were not OK;
sleeveless etc etc whatever.
So I kept looking. And I found a site, written in
Chinglish *, which had scores of ‘Mother Of Bride’ styles. And I actually found
2 styles which looked good and were suitable; little jackets which I figured I
could have lined if they were too transparent, over a sleeveless dress, nice
and drapey, and –get this- $80. Yes, you read correctly, $80-$100 for a
cocktail or evening dress. Sizings were US, and I know my size, so I ordered a
little bit bigger- easier to take in than let out, right? And I ordered 3
dresses and it was under $300 including shipping.
So what went wrong? I hear you ask. Did they not
arrive from the Fukien Province of China? No, they came, in about 2 weeks. Were
they crappy quality? Well, it’s not going to be silk at that price, is it? But
they were indeed quite well made. Were the colours or fabrics wrong? No, it was
as I expected. And some nice beaded edging too. Maybe a bit fragile in the
beading, as my dad would have said, ‘sewn with a hot needle’. But it turns out
that I don’t know my size in US after all, and I got it wrong and they are all
TOO SMALL. But really, not just ‘give up desserts for a month and they’ll fit’
too small; a size wrong. AND the dresses weigh a ton! They looked all floaty
chiffon etc but they are structured like battleships underneath. ‘Built-in bra’
is what they called it, but that’s a euphemism. So major fail. And I’m not going
to fotz around with dressmakers making 2 dresses into one, it would be far
easier to start from scratch. And if I’m going to start from scratch then I
wouldn’t be doing it in polyester.
So, beaten, I phoned the Couturier and I’m having
a horribly expensive dress made. I’ve got 2 more weddings to go before I marry
off all my kids so I’m hoping to amortize the investment. It had better look good.
Sheesh.
PS I have 1 cocktail length dress in royal blue
and 2 floor length gowns, one blue, one black, US size 16W (BULLSHIT) for sale
to interested parties. Photos available on request!
*’In your wedding day , no matter bride or groom , you
must appreciate a person , it is your mother . On that important day , one
of the most exciting persons is your mother , who wish you be happy
forever and ever and are waiting for your lover to give your wanted happiness
. Therefore , when you appear in the view of the guests with perfect
appearance , you never forget to dress up your great mother , to prepare a
nice and fashion mother of the bride dress for your dear mother ! In
modern times , new couples tend to place more attention on the mother of
the bride gowns , and there
are diverse styles of mother of the
bride dresses in current market , to choose suitable one
for your mother at once !’
Don’t you
love Chinglish? How could I resist?
my motto is SHOP WHEN YOU DON"T NEED IT. that way you're prepared. works for me. i love to shop when there is a good sale. of course it doesn't always work out that way but i try.
ReplyDeleteenjoy the Simcha.
You are absolutely right. But the fact that you used the expression 'I love to shop' tells me that we are different creatures. And the problem with sales is that so many other people have the same idea and so on top of everything you have to contend with hordes of people. And in Australia the sales aren't as good as in US where they do crazy discounts! Here it's 15% off or something, big deal. I used to have a shopping buddy who would schlep me out when she thought I needed new clothes but she moved to the US years ago and it's been a problem since then! I do like Bloomingdales in NYC though.
Delete