Behind the palings and the pickets, a wealth of
suffering.
The
Across-the-Back-Fence Neighbour’s Barking Dog.
It’s been 5 years now, I think, and not so bad in
the winter, as the dog is kept inside more, I imagine. But come the summer,
when the windows and doors are flung open to greet the fresh morning air. Or
the cool evenings. Or the afternoon sun. Or a breeze at 10pm. Or any bloody
time you can think of: The dog barks. A little Westy terrier with a yippy-yappy
voice and endless stamina. We tried everything short of killing the dog and now
we sulk in baleful silence. Except when I take out my megaphone and stand on my
balcony and shout at them to shut the dog up. I am not making this up. It
works, but I don’t do it too often, or else they will see me as the lunatic
that I am. And every other neighbour I talk to is driven crazy by this dog. But
everyone is too polite to say anything to the owner. So I look like a bigger
looney.
Leaf
blowers.
I mean, really, is there any more stupid
invention? Back in the day, the homeowner/gardener would:
·
Rake up the leaves.
·
Place leaves in a bag and
thence in the trash, or
·
Compost leaves or
·
Burn leaves.
I used to think that burning leaves was the worst
thing, as it pollutes the air. I wasn’t the only one to think this because they
made it illegal here. But really? It’s worse with the NOISE POLLUTION of the
leaf blower. And the absurdity of blowing the leaves off one’s own property
over to- where? The moon? No! To the next property! Or the street! And then
what? The wind blows them back anyway! You idiot with your noisy little toy and
your ear protectors and protective eyewear! Every Saturday and Sunday morning
in autumn and well into winter (when there is hardly a leaf to be found), my two
across-the road neighbours are in a duelling match. Or they tag-team each other. One blows the leaves off his lawn and nature strip onto the street and
then the wind blows it back and then the other one takes over. What morons are
these?! And we poor souls trying to have a quiet Shabbos morning have to listen
to the endless RRRRRrrrrrrrRRRRRRRrrrrrrrrrRRRRRRRRRrrrrrrrr ad nauseam.
When they invent a leaf SUCKER, please let these
fools know.
Possums
and other Vermin.
I used to be an animal lover. OK, I still am, with
the exception of:
- PIGEONS, or to give them their correct name, ‘Rattus con wingicus’. Yes, RATS with WINGS. Oh, I learned my lesson well with these critters.
Rule No 1: DO NOT FEED with leftover stale bread.
They eat, the breed, they build nests which block up drainpipes so rainwater
enters the house and courses down the wall onto the freshly laid floor. AND
they poop everywhere. AND whatever bread they don’t eat gets eaten by-
- RATS.
- POSSUMS. Australian possums are not as vile as the US ones, they look a bit more like raccoons, for those who don’t know. So they are RATS with CUTE FACES.
You can trap them (but you can’t kill them; they
are a PROTECTED SPECIES, what a joke! Protected! Like a panda! Except they destroy
your garden, too. Even a panda would at least eat only the bamboo!) in humane
cages, baited with an apple, and then you have to release them, so they can
come back in. And you actually PAY people to do this for you, because they are
vicious little beasts with fangs and claws. And then you pay the roofer to fix
the roof. Again. And it’s quiet for a little while. Until the wind blows and
shifts a tile and in they come again. (I know an old codger who used to trap
them and drown them in a bucket. When he was told that they were protected, he
claimed he was only teaching them how to swim, but they were poor learners. I
used to be appalled but NOW I understand.)
If only I could get that damn dog to scare them
away; at least the barking would be of some use. But leaf blowers? Useless.
lol!
ReplyDeleteHi angry mother. Leaf blowing is actually useful, here's why: it's hard to rake the leaves and actually get everything without hurting other plants around, maybe even pretty flowers or just the grass. The leaf blower enables you to make that same pile that you make with a rake, and then put that in a bag, but yes, I see your point. Here in N.Y if you do throw them on the road, at least street cleaning trucks will suck them up.
ReplyDeleteSecondly, who the hell will know if you killed the possums? At least just get a BB gun to scare them away.
Now the dog, can't you call the RSPCA or something to say that they're mistreating their dog by leaving it outside by itself and not taking it for walks enough? Or get all the neighbours to gang up.
Or just get over it and block it out?
Oy, do you really want to know about the dog? First I phoned them to say there was a problem. They said that they realized the dog barked a lot and they were getting a trainer, bear with them for a month. 3 months later, when I could hear the dog barking in the sweet spring air, I called again. Owner avoided my call and put her daughter on the phone. I could hear the dog barking in stereo, on the phone as well as in the air. After another few months, I put a letter in the mailbox, no threats, just pleading. Another letter, asking them if they were really meeting all the dog's needs, or else why would it bark so much? No change. I called the City Council and they said that in order to lodge a complaint about nuisance barking, I would have to log the barking. So I kept a Dog Log for a few weeks. Somehow, what I was describing wasn't enough. The neighbours had to also. So I spoke to the neighbours, who all could hear the dog and were all driven nuts. But they are all too Anglo and Polite to do or say anything. So as the years have passed we have gotten a bit used to it and also the dog may be getting too old to bark like the frenzied little varmint it was. And now it is winter, so it is kept inside more. But once the weather warms, it will be out there, barking at passersby, birds, possums at night, etc. I still keep the megaphone handy.
ReplyDeleteTherre is a guy who is legally allowed to euthanize possums in places of heavy possum population- not as if they are an endangered species or anything!- at $150 a pop. But even so, they come back! We have a lot of trees and a big roof. So we have roofers out at least once a year to 'seal' the roof. Hahaha. Until the wind blows a tree branch to brush the roof and shift a tile. Actually, at the moment, we have been told that there seems to be more of a rat thing happening in the roof, so they are laying poison baits like crazy. And it helps for a bit, but they always come back. That's life in suburbia! AND as for the leaf blowers, we are talking about raking a LAWN, so no harm would come to the grass. They are just being boys with toys. I guess they wear ear protectors so they are blissfully unaware of the noise generated?