In my Visiting Bubbeh persona, I found myself babysitting two of my granddaughters the other night. Their eldest sister Y was out at a barmitzvah with her parents. They live in New York.
R is 2 and FB is 6.
R is in her preferred state of nudity+nappy. And purple socks. We are in the front room, where there are many books.
-Ok, here's the plan. I'm going to read you these 3 books and then we'll go upstairs and we'll put pyjamas on you and then I'll read you 2 stories and then you'll go to bed. Ok?
-Ok.
(Read 3 books. Go upstairs)
-Look at these pyjamas, aren't they cute! I got them for you. I am a major supporter of Peter Alexander. See, Eiffel Tower on the front! Pink! Ok on goes the top. And now the shorts!
-NOOO!
-Oh you want them on back to front? Ok, why not. Happy?
Nods.
-Which books do you want me to read? Oh this one? Longish? With 4 stories in it? Umm. Ok.
(Start reading while FB hops and jumps and climbs and forages while R giggles)
-Um FB I think you should go to your room and wait till I'm done here, you're distracting R, ok?
FB-Sure. (Bunny hops out.)
R-Another book!
-Ok, that's what Bubbehs are for. Which one?
-Wild tings!
-Oh, I know that one! Where the Wild Things are. And here's the book!
Wait, it's in Spanish.
FB, is there an English version somewhere?
(FB pops head into room.)
-Sure.
-Can you get it?
-Don't know where it is.
-Oh ok then. I guess I'll manage.
(FB pops head out of room.)
-Here goes: 'La noche que Max se puso un traje de lobo y comenzó a hacer una traversura tras otra, Su mamá le dijo: "¡ERES UN MONSTRUO!" y Max le contestó:"¡TE VOY A COMER!" y lo mandaron a la cama sin cenar-
-Need pishy.
-Umm, ok, even though you are wearing a nappy, sure.
(Off with the back to front shorts and the nappy.
FB, ever helpful, readies the step set for the toilet.)
R sits. Smiles.
-Do you really need pishy?
(Dreamily)- Kaki.
-Oh really? And yet there you sit, and nothing happening.
You know, I think you are totally stooging me and you don't really need, right?
-Pishy kaki.
-And yet you are doing nothing.
(Shrug)
-Ok, that's enough.
(Back on with the nappy and the back to front PJ shorts.)
Let's go to bed.
(R runs into sisters' room and snuggles into a bed, plays possum)
FB -She can stay there! I don't mind!
-Uh yeah, as if the two of you won't be running around as soon as I turn my back.
Come on, into your cot!
-NOOO!
(I pick her up, and deposit her in her cot. She sits up.)
-Water.
-Ohhkay.
(I go to bathroom again and fill cup. She drinks.)
-Tenk you.
-Ok, now lie down.
-F'ozen!
-What?
-F'ozen!
(Points to slim reader emblazoned with the ubiquitous princess sisters and Olaf the snowman)
-Oh ok. One more then.
(Fortunately book has about 4 words per page. )
-Blanky.
-Blanky?
-Blanky.
-I didn't know you had a special blanky...FB, where is R's blanky?
(FB pops head back into room)
-Don't know, Y had it before and she put it somewhere.
-Great.
-You can just take one out of that cupboard.
(Pops out)
-Ok (reach in, take random flannelette blanky)
-NOOO!!
-Hey, ok ok, what about this one?
(I take out almost identical one.)
-Yes.
-So lie down, I'll cover you.
(Lies down, snuggles under blanky.)
Shema
Kiss
Shlof gezunt.
(Close door. Blessed silence.
That only took an hour and a half.)
FB -Can you read Willy Wonka to me?
-Of course. The night is young.
*The photos used are not my grandchildren. Mine are much cuter.
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