A Soul in Transit

There's an apocryphal story about a Westerner who attended a Chinese wedding with a friend of the young couple. During the celebrations there were speeches, and the first speech was made by an elderly relative. The wizened old man stood up, slowly walked to the microphone and beamed a huge smile at the young couple. The crowd maintained a respectful silence. The elder made a short speech in Mandarin, smiled, bowed to the bride and groom and returned to his seat among enthusiastic applause. 

'What did he say?' asked the Westerner. 

'He gave the bride and groom a wonderful blessing. He said, 'Grandparents die, parents die, children die.''

 The Westerner was taken aback. 'What kind of blessing is that? He just said that everyone in the family should die!'

'No, no, listen carefully to the order,' said the friend. 'Of course, eventually everyone will die. But the blessing is that old people will die first, then their children will die in the right time, in their old age, and then the children of the children. Because the greatest sorrow is for children to die before their parents. The greatest blessing is to die in the correct order.'

There is no greater heartbreak than the death of a child. In spite of all the medical advances, in spite of cutting edge medical procedures and medications and all the hope and prayers, in spite of the Tehillim and the community prayer vigils and group challah baking, in spite of the love and support of family and friends who are all good people who give tzedaka and help their fellows, in spite of everything, a child dies. 

We all weep together at this time of communal loss. We are speechless and impotent. We pray for an end to these tragedies which we cannot fathom. We ask 'Why? Why this child, this family, this community?' There are no answers. We try to comfort the bereaved knowing that there is no comfort and no reasons. 

Grandparents. Parents. Children. At least give us this, death in the right order at the right time. 

In memory of HaTinok Boaz ben Ilana veBinyomin.  

May his parents, grandparents, great-grandparents be spared any further heartbreak. May his pure neshoma be a shining light in Gan Eden, may he be a 'gitteh better', an intercessor on behalf of us all. May G-d have mercy on us all and send Moshiach, immediately. 

Amen.