TRADIE HELL

I may have mentioned that I live a privileged life in a lovely large house in a leafy suburb in Melbourne, one of the world's 'Most Liveable Cities'. I work largely form home, so I spend a lot of time in this lovely home, and although I have a daily housekeeper, I don't have a house manager or butler or whatever; I alone am responsible for the maintenance of the house. And believe me, the house needs a lot- A LOT- of maintenance.
It was built pre WW1 and has been renovated and extended and rewired and replumbed and you name it. It has high ceilings, polished floors, (some carpet though- this will become relevant) and lovely gardens back and front. And I have a pool. And everything needs maintenance and attention from tradesmen. When I say that not a day goes by when I don't have tradies in the house, I am not exaggerating. NOT. A. DAY.
Sometimes all the stars come into alignment and everything comes up at once. Yesterday was one of those days.
At 7.30 am the guys working on the security system turned up, third day running; replacing defective sensors etc etc and since there is also a 'smart house' interface (and what an oxymoron is that expression, 'smart house') called a Crestron, and everything has to be programmed through the Crestron, there was also the guy with the laptop as well as the 2 guys in overalls. Who were fiddling (third day!) with the alarm system, going beep-beep-beep-beep and setting it off from time to time. Did I mention that I work from home?
At 7.45 the aircon-heating maintenance guys came, 2 of them in boots and shorts, climbing up ladders, removing and cleaning filters, searching for missing controls, prowling and lurking around every corner, all day.
Then the pool guy came and did his thing, but he doesn't get in the way much. I still had to talk to him about a problem with the pumps. He was only there an hour.
Meanwhile, the lawn guy was adding to the symphony with his mower and whipper snipper. This guy is a legend. He comes every 2 weeks in spring-summer-autumn and every 3 weeks in winter, come rain or shine, come drought or flood. When the lawn was little more than a dirt patch during the recent 10 year drought, he would still come. I had to beg him to only come once a month. He is a robot. But he was done in an hour too.
Then the carpet cleaning guy came. He was supposed to come 3 weeks ago but didn't due to some dental problems. He didn't call, of course I had to chase him. Then he was supposed to come Monday. So he came Wednesday, in the middle of all of this. He sprinkles this powder which get on everything, and then has this machine which adds to the ambient sound mix. I think the powder dust has affected his brain after all these years because he's always cheerful and always loves to chat no matter how late he must be for his other jobs. (He should have come an extra day late to clean the carpet after the aircon guys in boots tromped all over it.)
What are we up to? 3 cable guys, 2 aircon guys, one pool guy, one carpet guy, one lawn guy, and a hassled housekeeper.
AND THEN. The washing machine broke down. So I had to call a repairman, and I got some info off the net and picked up the phone to call- DEAD. The phone wasn't working.

Actually it had stopped working the night before, so I assumed that the cable dudes had screwed something up; so I called their boss an told on them. But it turns out that the problem lay outside, in the street; the whole area was out because some workmen who were out there slowing traffic and looking very serious while being hoisted up in scissor lifts and cherry pickers to look at power lines and junction boxes, were cutting back trees etc, and it looks like they cut more than trees.

Today, day 3 of no phone, or fax, it occurred to me that I should call Telstra and find out how long this lack of phone will last. (I might add that we had Optus for the internet connection so at least I had THAT, or else I would have topped myself.) And a recorded voice told me that there was a damaged cable and would I like to speak to someone? Well, yes, why not. And a very nice young Indian (of course!) fellow came on the line, confirmed the damaged cable, said it should be fixed by the evening and THEN suggested diverting my home/work phone on to my mobile! For free. Immediately. And he told me how to undivert it once the cable is fixed. I was very impressed by the service, and my inner cynical pessimist was almost silenced. We will see how young Sanjay's advice turns out. (I don't know if his name was Sanjay; if I asked him he would probably say he was Kevin from North Balwyn, not Bangalore. I just like the name Sanjay.)

And yes! The washing machine guys came and told me after 20 seconds that I need a part which they didn't have but they will order. And it turns out that it will take 7-8 working days to get the part. But there will be no service fee when the return to actually fix the machine. Well, $138 well spent! What the hell am I going to do with all the dirty laundry? Shavuot next week, too. I might visit my mother-in-law's washing machine.

And then my housekeeper mentioned that the polished floors were looking a bit ordinary and maybe we need to call the floor guy. Also the marble tiles in the en-suite had some weird blotchy marks, so we should get the stone guys out (again).

So after the cleaners and the gardener leave, I'm leaving my house to go to the mall, to look at a fridge for my newlyweds. I need some peace and quiet.