The Commonality of Loss

Bibi is nearing the end of his Australian tour, which has seen him greeted like a rock star by school kids, subjected to questions both stupid and smart from journos, written up in all the papers, and it seems to be that there's not too much protesting going on from the usual suspects, the JVP or the regular antisemites. That could have something to do with the masses of security people he has with him? Well, if anyone needs security, it would be Bibi.
I was fortunate enough to be invited to lunch with him and 1,000 intimate friends in Sydney, so I flew there and joined the fray. The format was welcome from MC, eat a bit, then speeches from the PM Malcolm Turnbull ('I love and admire Israel and the Jews!'), then from Opposition leader Bill Shorten (I love and admire Israel and the Jews even more! Even though my party is being hijacked by pro-palestinian factions. Plus, I did more research on my speech!'), and then from The Man himself. Then eat more. Then a 'Q&A' with Bibi and Malcolm, except that the only person allowed to ask anything was the MC. That was a bit lame, I thought.
Anyway, I wanted to talk to Bibi. There's a lot I want to say to him, like, don't fawn so much on Donald Trump; and if the economy is so fantastic, then why are Holocaust survivors having to choose between buying food and buying medicine? Why do we diaspora Jews donate millions of dollars for social programs helping youth at risk, and the elderly, and the poor, and supply reinforcement and bomb shelters to those on the periphery, out of the cities? And please explain why there has been zero trickle-down effect from the booming economy; instead we see that a few people have become very wealthy from selling their successful start-ups to large companies, but not a lot of jobs are created and Israelis are generally struggling. There are some exceptions, but not enough.
But I know I wouldn't be discussing this with him, because - well, lame Q&A, and huge security. Yet, there were few opportunities between entree and main, and after the speeches, to approach him. So in the end I had my 90 seconds with Bibi. It went like this:
Hello, hello, hand shake, smile. Then:
'We have something very sad in common; we both have lost brothers, and my brother is buried on Har Herzl 6 graves away from yours.'
He stopped and actually looked at me. The smile slipped away from his face.
'My brother was on Miluim and he was killed in the Yom Kippur War.'
'Where?'
'The Mezach.'
(All Israelis have the same reaction to that word- always a grimace of pain, because it was such a debacle; and so did Bibi.)
 'And then his body wasn't returned until the Camp David Accords, so not until 1978 was he buried, so that's why he and Yoni are so close to each other.'
'What was his name?'
'Yehuda Pakula.'
I won't say that his eyes filled with tears, because they didn't. But he gave me such a look of sympathy, and the understanding of the pain of bereavement was so clear. And then he smiled sadly and shook his head, and was whisked away.

Soon after, I was standing in a line in the hot Sydney sun, waiting to be processed by security outside the Central Synagogue, where Malcolm and Bibi would address 2,000 of the faithful. I had been standing in the registration line for over an hour, and there we all were now waiting to be searched. I felt a bit swoony and wondered if I was actually going to pass out, but then I found a patch of shade and I realised that I knew the tall, nice looking guy in front of me; he was an Israeli that I had met on Keren HaYesod business in Israel, and here he was! (I'm not usually good with faces but this guy looks a bit like a movie star (Christopher Reeve, FYI) so I even remembered his name which NEVER happens.)
'Hey, Adi! How are you?'
'Hi! How are you!' Etc Etc.
And then he introduced me to the person he was with, a slight young man with a pleasant manner and a relaxed smile. His name was Tzur Goldin.
'Why do I know that name?'
'Because you know the name of my brother, Hadar Goldin, who was killed in Protective Edge.'
Oy.
So it turns out that his parents are going all around the world to raise awareness of the fact that his body has to be returned for burial, but Hamas still refuses to return him. And he is in Sydney to speak also.
So, twice in one day:
'We have something very sad in common, then.' And I gave him the rundown, but the thing is that awful waiting time, those years until my brother's body was returned. That's what we had in common this time.
'We had to wait over 4 years to get my brother back from Egypt. But we did. Dental records, dog tags, cadaver dogs. It took a peace treaty. But he is buried in Har Herzl, very close to Yoni Netanyahu.'

From Yehuda, to Yoni, to Hadar. A chain of loss and bereavement, of parents and siblings coping however they can. I'm happy to say that grief counselling is available today in Israel,  because there was nothing around when my brother was killed, not in Israel, nor in Australia, and I would think the suffering that we- my mother especially- experienced was all the worse for that.

So next time we meet, Bibi, we'll talk about social justice. And meanwhile, let's pray for the time that there won't be any more bereaved and desperate parents and siblings.