YOU DON’T HAVE TO BE JEWISH!

That was a great comedy record, absolute classic. And you don’t have to be Jewish to appreciate it. And there was a book by Dan Greenburg about how to be a Jewish Mother, how you don’t have to be either Jewish or a mother to be one. Hahaha! (I laughed at the book but I think Dan hated his mother and himself. And being a Jew.)

And now it looks like you don’t have to be a Jew to be Jewish, according to the latest Jewish Community Study of New York. 
http://www.ujafedny.org/jewish-community-study-of-new-york-2011/

It is a fascinating document, worth a read. As is this comment:

http://www.tabletmag.com/scroll/102369/the-rise-of-the-partially-jewish?print=1

The Jewish population of NYC is up, now 1,086,00. This has been fueled by the high birthrate of the Orthodox, increased longevity, and the ‘Partially Jewish’.

•            Rising numbers of people report unconventional identity configurations. They may consider themselves “partially Jewish,” or may identify as Jews even while identifying with Christianity or another non-Jewish religion (many more do so now than who so reported in 2002). Of such people with unconventional configurations, 70% have a non-Jewish parent (or two).

I am not a racist. I am not homophobic. I do not sit in judgment of how others live their lives. All I want is clarity. I do not disdain a person for not being Jewish. I have known many people in the course of my life and some are Jewish- all right, most are Jewish- and some are not. And some are great people and some are jerks, and some – most- are straight and some are gay, and some I like and some I don’t, and whether they are likeable or noble or good or not has not a lot to do with their religion or lack of it or whatever. I just want to say that, because there are many people who consider themselves to be open-minded and accepting of all and sundry and they- non-judgmental types of course- immediately assume that I am a racist homophobe Jewish Supremacist because I am Orthodox, oh, excuse me, Ultra-Orthodox (I wear a sheytel).  (BTW, I am pleased to note that the study did not use the term Ultra-Orthodox, which I find pejorative, and instead commented on the diversity within Orthodoxy- Haredi, Hasidic, Yeshivish, Modern etc.)

So when I say that -really- a Jew is one born of a Jewish mother or converted according to Halacha, I am not being provocative or non-pluralistic. I am saying that, for the future of the Jewish people, the definition must be clarified. There is no such thing as ‘partially Jewish’. It is a dichotomy; you are or you aren’t.

I’m sorry, Reform and Reconstructionist and those who decided in 1984, was it? that patrilineage is an acceptable decider for Jewish identity, but until then, it was always, you got it, born of a Jewish mother or converted according to Halacha. It’s an exclusive club, that a lot of people seem to want to join for some crazy reason.

12% of households are biracial, that is 87,000 households representing 254,000 people, 161,000 of whom identify as Jewish. Ok, cool! I don’t care what colour you are or what your background is, if you call yourself Jewish you should have – what? That’s right, a Jewish mother or one converted according to Halachah. Or be a convert yourself.

There are 50,000 Jewish people in LGBT households. So, I don’t care if you are gay or have 2 mommies, as long as the biological one is Jewish, then you can call yourself a Jew. You may be a mixed-up Jew, an alienated Jew, an angry Jew, but you are a Jew.

The study goes on to comment on the importance of affiliation to a congregation in predicting Jewish engagement.

Not surprising to see that the Orthodox are most engaged, and there are 493,000 Jews living in Orthodox households- numbers are up. But there are also more ‘non-denominational Jews and Jews with no religion’ who are ‘least engaged’. But even in this group, those affiliated with a congregation have higher levels of Jewish engagement- cultural events, visits to Jewish museums, attending Seder, lighting Chanukah candles- than non-affiliated.

And the doozy is that half- HALF- of the non-Orthodox married out, between 2006-2011.  No surprise here either, that this group is less likely to feel that being Jewish is important or that it is important to be part of the Jewish community, or feel attached to Israel. So much for pluralism. BUT note, around half of these intermarried people light Chanukah candles/ attend a Seder and a third attend Jewish cultural events. The desire to belong is not always extinguished so readily, even in those whose actions will probably lead to the extinction of their line of Jews. So there’s bad news and there’s good news.

So this is a huge study and a monster topic, and there are many conclusions. Jews are diverse. They always have been. Jews are not all white, not all rich, not all observant or practicing or even believers. There are atheists who are Jews and Buddhists who are Jews and Muslims who are Jews and Christians who are, strictly speaking, Jews. Because they had- what? A Jewish mother. And it might not be fair to someone who had a Jewish father and has a Jewish surname and feels Jewish but isn’t, because the mother wasn’t Jewish. It isn’t fair. It sucks. We need to do a lot to enable conversions for those who are serious about their desire to become Jewish, especially in these situations.  But we can’t pretend that there is a thing called ‘partially Jewish’. You can be of Jewish ancestry, and not be Jewish, sure. But you can’t be a half a Jew. You are a Jew, or you aren’t a Jew. We must be clear about this and stop confusing the issue, because in the end, it is the group who is clearly identified and ‘strongly engaged’ who represents the future of the Jewish people. And I, for one, care about the Jewish people and the future. Jews are G-d’s chosen people, chosen to create a dwelling-place for G-d on Earth. That’s what it’s all about. Nowhere has it ever been said that everyone has to be Jewish or that you have to be a Jew to be a good person. Non-Jews are also expected to follow the 7 Noahide Laws , which basically account for decent societies. But Jews are Jews and there are great responsibilities (I sound like Spiderman) and it isn’t an easy path. And the chosenness is why people hate us and why people love us. OK, I’m making it very simple here and I’m sure there are others who could write theses about why I am wrong, but that’s what I believe.

Back to the classic 1965 recording:

‘Mr O’Hara, it’s your mother, Mrs Horowitz’ starts the sketch ‘The Housewarming’ (second sketch on the clip.)

Momma didn’t attend the housewarming of her son and daughter-in-law Sophia’s (ripple of laughter at this non-Jewish name) new duplex in Park Avenue; she was in the lobby but she didn’t come up because she forgot her son’s name. It’s funny, it’s hilarious, and it contains the bitter kernel of truth.

You don’t have to be Jewish? Oy.